How different men and women are… so how can a marriage work?

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Men and women are totally different so it is at times then we may wonder how can a marriage work or how then when married do we make it work? Many years ago someone wrote a book: ‘Women are from Venus men are from Mars’ which sums up a lot!

A few simple words to encourage – I am by no means an expert and frequently get it wrong!

A husband wants a wife to be his soul-mate despite inevitable differences so make him something yummy to eat and spend time enjoying it together, peace from children helps, some couples go out for ‘dates’ to get some alone time to speak without interruptions… I love my children but we need to love our spouse more we’ll be together once the children leave/flee the nest!

A wife needs a husband to understand her, embrace her not always physically also emotionally and intellectually in conversation, holding hands when out; my parents do this – look so cute ~ I love it!

Enjoy your marriage…

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Food for thought…

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Cooking meals at home –
Do you ‘Love it or hate it’?

Do you desire to love it a little more?
Plan meals both physical and spiritual food.

Plan a weekly menu for meals to shop for ingredients, saves money in the long run!

Plan a weekly spiritual diet – which sermons, talks, music depending on how well you can concentrate and/or if children need to participate. I also had many scripture verses around (ashamedly, not so many now).

Keep calm and praise JESUS, we are here where He has placed us!

I would get the children to help make part of the food, chop with a safe knife, put chopped food in bowls or pand, (still do) if little then I’d put in highchair with things to do, play nibble on like carrot sticks or the good old-fashioned wooden spoon and pot or pan to bang, – put a colander on their head to be a space person!

My mum used to, (apparently according to my aunt), leave me to feed myself but I’d end up with it all over me but my mum was able to carry on baking with me happily in a mess before family came for dinner/tea!

My granny gave me a little glass heart decoration:

“Bless this little kitchen Lord, I love its every nook.
Bless my hands as I wash, clean and cook.
May the meals that I prepare be seasoned from above,
With… but most of all thy love.”

It’s more or less accurate but key is our ❤ is right with God, honour God, not be stressed in our kitchen so dishonour our Lord!

In everything you do, do it all for the glory of God!

Do everything without complaining, arguing so that you may become faithful and true children of God!

Be a Mary not a Martha even when in the kitchen!

I was also challenged as to my use of time in the kitchen.

I love to cook but it can take up do much time plus is it healthy?

I prefer to bake for special occasions and cook quick meals serve salads, chopped fruits and vegetables where possible as it saves time but also better nutritiously than cooking out the goodness!

I also have intolerances to gluten, dairy and other foods, I’ve tried some freefrom baking and cooking but have decided not to waste too much time or money on food – which I cannot afford either of! I eat as natural foods as possible rice or potatoes instead of processed pasta and even limit gluten free bread – processed food isn’t good for your system. So, I’m leaning towards the Garden of Eden diet – essentially vegan, I believe.

Tru3 J0y

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This is a democracy, or so we’re been led to believe…

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They don’t regulate the big conglomerates, ever! Governments in power never want to upset the big fish; whether cigarettes, alcohol, sugar, chocolate, they don’t want them to pay more tax!
But they do not care one iota about the small fish, so want the electorate/people to pay more because we are microscopic fish in the pond! That’s reality, it’s all about money and greed not us small fry’s.
Although, there are butter mountains and sugar mountains – what happens with that? All my life I’ve heard about the butter and sugar mountains!
The result, we have to live with it people just continue on their little wheel of life like a hamster in a cage or bubble.
Either we continue to be suppressed, ‘put up or shut up’ or unite to have a voice and campaign against injustice which we can do from home quietly or publicly with likeminded people.

It makes one think, we live in a ‘democracy’ apparently, therefore we have more ‘freedom’ than many people in other countries but actually in reality we do not, we are all controlled to conform!
We have ‘freedom of speech’ well we don’t, people are locked up for speaking their views.
We have ‘freedom of views/opinions’ as long as we don’t act on them if its against someone else’s.
We have ‘freedom of thought’, actually only if we don’t speak our mind and the government can’t as yet read it!”
We have ‘freedom to work and own a business’, but not if it somehow contravenes something else!
I cannot keep up with lays, bylaws changes between the government, EU, local councils its all confusing.
We have out of date laws which new laws contradict making it all even greater a confusion. A man once said, “the law is an Ass” (meaning the animal like a donkey).
Anyway, the government will never tax the big fish! It won’t tax the companies, (as we seen with the bankers, investment and every other big fish) for fear they will lose them although HSBC may be one to go from London, as the government have made moves or was it going anyway?
The truth is we will never know the truth.
Business is fickle and cannot be trusted. People working for the big fish cannot even trust them, there is a fear of redundancy and job loss in our ‘civilised society’ so times haven’t evolved really. If the economy is hit, in the words if Jesse J,
“It’s all about the money, money, money”
and people panic how they’ll manage!

There’s more to life than this… worrying about it isn’t necessary, if you eat healthily, exercise, don’t smoke or drink then you’ll escape that. People eat healthily, exercise but are overweight they don’t eat loads of sugary or fatty foods but can’t lose weight due to factors out of their control!
The U.K. government need to look at the whole picture; they know costs money, so they’ll tax us, small fry’s the people instead if getting to the root of the problem!
Thanks members of Parliament!

Weird Wednesday ~ Childhood memories

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I found an old book with all of the writings of Burns, a Scottish literary writer and poet.

As a child, in Scotland we had to read this around Burns night in January. I have found, strangely enough that I can remember this is I rekindle my Scots accent but not at all in an English accent!

To a mouse
by Robert Burns

Wee, sleekit, cowran, tim’rous beastie,
O, what a panic’s in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi’ bickering brattle!
I wad be laith to rin an’ chase thee,
Wi’ murd’ring pattle!

I’m truly sorry Man’s dominion
Has broken Nature’s social union,
An’ justifies that ill opinion,
Which makes thee startle,
At me, thy poor, earth-born companion,
An’ fellow-mortal!

I doubt na, whyles, but thou may thieve;
What then? poor beastie, thou maun live!
A daimen-icker in a thrave ‘S a sma’ request:
I’ll get a blessin wi’ the lave,
An’ never miss’t!

Thy wee-bit housie, too, in ruin!
It’s silly wa’s the win’s are strewin!
An’ naething, now, to big a new ane,
O’ foggage green!
An’ bleak December’s winds ensuin,
Baith snell an’ keen!

Thou saw the fields laid bare an’ wast,
An’ weary Winter comin fast,
An’ cozie here, beneath the blast,
Thou thought to dwell,
Till crash! the cruel coulter past
Out thro’ thy cell.

That wee-bit heap o’ leaves an’ stibble,
Has cost thee monie a weary nibble!
Now thou’s turn’d out, for a’ thy trouble,
But house or hald.
To thole the Winter’s sleety dribble,
An’ cranreuch cauld!

But Mousie, thou are no thy-lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men,
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!

Still, thou art blest, compar’d wi’ me!
The present only toucheth thee:
But Och! I backward cast my e’e,
On prospects drear!
An’ forward, tho’ I canna see,
I guess an’ fear!

Tru3 J0y

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How to improve perimenopausal wellbeing:

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Maintain a healthy diet which aids a woman’s sense of well-being, reduces the risk of heart disease, osteoporosis and certain cancers. Eat a diet low in fat and rich in fruits, vegetable, whole grains, calcium and vitamin D to assist your body’s ability in managing early menopausal symptoms. Eat a variety of fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains, low saturated fats and fatty acids; leafy greens, carrots, broccoli, cucumber, oranges, grapefruits, apples, berries, plums. Avoid dairy or animal produce high in fat, processed or manufactured baked goods, hard margarines and salt intake. Low fat diary products with high calcium content to balance the loss of calcium due to onset of menopause to keep the bones strong and prevent osteoporosis. Phytoestrogen are the estrogens available in plant food so eat more phytoestrogen rich foods; soybeans, tofu, linseed, legumes which aid renewing of the depleting estrogen levels due to early onset menopause.
drink eight or more glasses of water a day. Reduce intake of caffeine products like coffee, tea, chocolate to remove the effects of early onset menopause symptoms. Limit consumption of alcohol, less than a glass each day, to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Regular physical activity reduces the risk of heart diseases and osteoporosis, provides a feeling of emotional well being plus 30 minutes of brisk walking, swimming, cycling, dancing or simple exercises three times a week or more helps keep bones healthy, prevent bone loss, reduce weight gain after menopause, improve heart condition, develop good overall health, provides a good night’s sleep, avoid alcohol, caffeine, large meals and working right before bedtime to enable you to enjoy a deep sleep. A woman’s sexuality is complicated as this involves physical, social, emotional responses so a caring sensitive partner can help to reduce physical responses. Emotional satisfaction helps alleviate symptoms associated with early onset menopause. Whatever age and stage you are in your journey in/at menopause a healthy diet and exercise will help alleviate many menopausal symptoms. Always seek the advice of your doctor to determine premature menopause, early onset menopause or other possibilities. If premature menopause or early menopause, doctor might prescribe hormone replacement therapy treatment to reduce symptoms associated with the menopause. The support of family and friends is paramount or join a support group. As the body changes we need to understand, experience the loss, be aware of feelings and thoughts going through many emotions, adding guilt will not alleviate but increase the pain.

Enjoy and keep positive, try dietary changes to see if it helps you, keep a journal or diary, if it helps, but it may take a few months to take affect!

It’s a different journey for each of us!
Enjoy the journey – apparently its great the other side freedom from many physical and emotional changes linked to the menstrual cycle and menopause!

Tru3 J0y

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What is perimenopause?

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I noticed changes, spoke with doctors queried the fact its not the menopause but they didn’t mention/know about the perimenopause or pre menopause. So, if being prepared helps why don’t doctors prepare you?! It could just be that my experience was of two young doctors who don’t know the symptoms. However, since that is my experience and I have needed to investigate for myself, I thought it wise to share! I hope my pages on this change in woman’s health helps you or anyone supporting women going through it!

Perimenopause could arrive anywhere between your thirties to your early fifties, symptoms may indicate you are in the ‘pre’ menopause stage – great!

What is perimenopause?
Perimenopause or ‘pre’ menopause stage is the process your body is going through prior to entering the menopause, just another milestone! As your body begins, often called ‘The change’, transition begins going into menopause. During which time, hormonal changes occur causing the levels of your reproductive hormones, oestrogen and progesterone to vary irregularly, for about 10 to 15 years before you’re even going through menopause! Fantastic – that explains a lot, but the doctors have been useless, any woman will go through this anytime from their 30’s to 50’s.
When changes begin in a woman’s cycle, investigations, tests need to be carried out to find out why to check for benign tumours, cysts, polyps, cancerous tumours or changes or any other reason. Then when results are normal, except the changes in the woman’s menstrual cycle, physical and emotional factors, then it is likelier to be the pre menopause which the body is preparing for and can be months or years, varying between women.

Changes in your body mean that you will certainly not feel 100%! Consequently, eating habits may remain the same but you gain weight too easily! Breasts are painful, irregular menstrual cycles, drier skin, low sex drive, easily annoyed, tired, frequent headaches – all sadly common signs of perimenopause.
The other difficulty is that the intensity, duration and frequency of symptoms vary between women experiencing perimenopause symptoms some lasting a few months while others they have no symptoms!

The symptoms occur as a result of hormone imbalances, due to having too much oestrogen but not enough progesterone. These symptoms are scientific, medical and are more evident in women who are not in touch with their bodies.
Stress in many conditions makes symptoms worse, and the perimenopause is no different being a normal change in life which all women have to experience. So there is nothing to worry for the very reason that as with anything else, stress, fear and worry actually worsen your symptoms and condition.

Tru3 J0y
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Children need a bedtime routine

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Children crave consistency, boundaries, routines and bedtimes are no different, whatever age they are! In fact, teenagers need the most sleep as they change into adults there are physical, emotional, intellectual, social changes happening in and around them!

Children can play up at bedtime, until they sleep. If you have more than one then it could be learnt/copied behaviour from a sibling older or younger to get attention.

Children in holiday mode could find it difficult adjusting as routine changes, if they are less active or different activities than usual school term routine but need to burn off excess energy and calm their minds down.

The best thing to do is to keep bedtimes the same don’t change too much even for holidays, that goes for all ages even teenagers – they don’t need to be up layer than 10, they need to sleep in fact teenagers need a long sleep as there are so many changes happening!

To enable hyper children, even teenagers, to settle and sleep well maybe go for a walk or play in garden to loose energy. I remember Dr Robert Winston doing a tv programme about children, he said they need an hour to wind down, I think he showed them spinning around like an aeroplane or fairy, (it was a while ago) to get rid off excess energy or they cant sleep. I used to play football with my son and the others ones would zoom around or in little ride on cars etc. Then leave it as late as possible but stagger bedtime routine which worked quite well.
The same rest is needed with using pc’s, tablets, phone – white light.
Anyway, they have a mad hour and need to unwind so have staggered bathroom use.
I read Narnia books to mine when feeding number 4 as it was easier, then read bible and each prayed.
If they had music it was calm classical or songs which were calming!

Tru3 J0y

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Changes to a woman’s cycle before the menopause

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Perimenopause or Premenopause
Physical symptoms:
Changes in the menstrual cycle
Headaches
Heart palpitation – a sensation of the heart skipping a beat or beating very fast within a specific period
Hot flashes and night sweats – a sudden feeling of intense heat which encompasses your entire body and may be followed by day or night sweats
Lumpy or tender breasts
Premenstrual Syndrome
Reduced interest in sex
Unexplained weight gain
Urinary incontinence
Vaginal dryness
Water Retention
Bloating

Emotional symptoms:
Anger
Anxiety
Perimenopause depression, irritability
Difficulty concentrating
Dizziness
Stress and Extreme Fatigue
Mood swings

The most common sign that you are going through your pre menopause stage is when you’re experiencing early sign of menstruation transition:
irregular periods, in the absence of other medical problems
menstrual flow can be heavier or lighter, longer or shorter time between periods and irregular flow.
The changes women experience vary between no changes, only changes in the menstrual cycle, one or more of the other symptoms of Perimenopause which may last a few months or years as early as your 30’s, 40’s or early 50’s.
By the time you reach the menopause so stop menstruating totally, the associated symptoms should disappear, which is great!

Each woman has a different lifestyle, diet, exercise so their body is influenced differently. It is completely normal that some women don’t experience perimenopause symptoms and gradually move into menopause stage without even noticing they simply go through the stage where they stop menstruating before they realise that they have reached menopause – how wonderful!

Perimenopause and menopause may be the end of the second cycle of life; but it is also the beginning of another.
Friends have told me how wonderful the third cycle of life is free from all of the negative effects previously encountered by the menstrual cycle and Perimenopause!

Tru3 J0y

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Help! Hit 40 is it downhill from there?

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What’s happening to my body? I hit 40 and then things change; hubby said it might be the menopause, which I immediately dismissed – feeling quite offended as I’m still young! However, over the next couple of years post 40, (still with the menopause threat being dismissed), there are more frequent changes in my cycle, migraines, bloating, pain, cramps, excruciating cramps internally which I never experienced despite four children! The GP was useless, then a second wasn’t much better and they dislike us going online to find out what’s wrong with us. Well, that’s because the doctor can’t help, as any experienced ones are booked up far ahead like a theatre shoe or the Queen’s diary! I see a young one and ask what I want to happen and tell them to send me for a scan, blood tests etc. I know that the menopause is defined by a woman’s last period so I’m not there yet, thankfully bit where am I? Well, apparently it’s the Perimenopause which is the period of time in-between normal hormone levels and periods to the menopause when periods stop (hurrah!).
The Perimenopause is less obvious to pinpoint, being named as thus as it refers to the period of time before menopause. However, it could be anywhere between 2 to 10 years! As, the ovaries begin by reducing the hormone product in, consequently there are fluctuating levels of the hormones oestrogen and progesterone; causing emotional changes from the mild to the mentally unhinged unbalanced! Named as the “perimenopausal rage”, being described by women, family, friends as a rise in unexpected, heightened anger or a vulnerability to increased volatile emotional outbursts, even if the second before you were cool as a cucumber!
Doctor/GP is your best person to aid management of hormones. I have been told, observed and read so recall that some women choose to eat less sugar, meat, eating instead whatever they fancy and more soya and vegetables so preventing women from feeling the need to reach for treats.
Key triggers directly linked to exaggerate hormonal symptoms added with stress:
Hippocrates: “First, do no harm.”
Sugar, caffeine and alcohol are three compounds in the diet linked exaggerate any hormonal symptoms, igniting a cocktail of emotions notably, when stress is added, (so no Tiramisu!). High sugar puts your body’s “fight or flight” stress response to be over-activated added with a mega-dose of caffeine, creating a perfect storm for an emotional rollercoaster! Alcohol may seem to settle your nerves for the moment, but by overdoing it can have lingering effects on your edginess the following day. Eliminate these three things in your diet to see if you can see a difference almost immediately and if so stick to avoiding those 3 culprits!

Tru3 J0y

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Premenopause diet- Perimenopause diet

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Eat Omega-3-rich Foods
Good happy brain chemistry depends on getting necessary amounts of omega-3’s in the diet, as it’s linked with better moods and lower rates of depression. The brain particularly requires DHA, a key omega-3 fat in the brain which comprises 50% by weight of certain brain cells!

Therefore, eat at least two servings of fatty fish each week like salmon, sardines, tuna, mackerel, or seeds and nuts, weekly to naturally include some of nature’s richest sources of omega-3s.

Snack on one ounce of walnuts, a day’s worth of omega-3s in the form of alpha-linolenic acid, or ALA. Add omega 3 sprinkle to soya yogurt or over salads or drizzle two tablespoons of ground flaxseed or one tablespoon cold pressed flax oil on your morning bowl of oatmeal for an added boost. If you absolutely don’t eat fish, take a fish oil supplement with the USP certification to ensure good manufacturing practices. Check with GP before adding any new supplements to your diet to avoid problems if you should not take it.

Superfood Legumes:
Beans and lentils are superfoods which offer several benefits to women going through either perimenopause or menopause.

Why?
They are a combination of high fibre and protein which aid to keep blood sugar stable for longer after meals and snacks, preventing the mood swings within minutes which many perimenopausal women describe. They are great for being low in calories, helps women in their 40’s and 50’s maintain a healthy body weight as this is typically a time of creeping weight gain. This is as the metabolism can slow as women lose lean muscle mass if they are not involved in strength training, (I better research that next!).

Legumes are rich in B-complex vitamins, including folate and B6, required for enzymes which ate involved with oestrogen metabolism.
How much should I eat? At least one cup per day, to provide 14 grams of protein. Enjoy a cup of bean or lentil soup with a green salad for lunch or add beans to the salad, simmer a pot of five even ten-bean sauce this weekend, or enjoy a delicate side of French, green or red lentils with grilled fish or chicken.

Super Soya
I already have soya yogurt and occasionally soya milk but may need to eat soya in other meals too!

Why soya?
Apparently, to help stay cool as things heat up!
It could be depending on your family history. However, evidence suggests that soya contains phytoestrogens. Phytoestrogens are naturally occurring plant compounds which can mimic the body’s own estrogen by binding to certain estrogen receptors, potentially helping your body ease through the loss of your own source of estrogen.
These work by binding to specific oestrogen receptors, thus helping your body adjust when it suffers the loss of your own source of oestrogen. However, they are 1000 times weaker than female oestrogen, evidence suggests including 2-3 servings of soya food daily could help reduce the severity of hot flashes, protect against bone loss and heart disease, and reduce your risk of breast cancer. Eat soya yogurt, milk, cook with soya chunks/mince, edamame as a snack or half-cup of tofu in your stir fry all count as one serving.
Try it to for a month or two to see if you start feeling better after adding soya in your diet. However, there have also been some women who have found no added benefit, and adding soya possibly be contraindicated if you have a personal or family history of oestrogen-sensitive cancers like breast cancer, so ask your GP first.

Tru3 J0y
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