c. 1480 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Reflections on childhood and the era’s through which children have grown up it makes me wonder were the ‘good old days’ as good as people make out – for all children? Did it depend largely on your upbringing and treatment by parents, family and others in your life? Did it depend on how your parents upbringing and whether they sought to treat you better than they had been treated or just as they were – because it didn’t do them any harm?
I have reflected back into history to look at how children have been treated by their parents, families, schools, workplaces; to gather together and seek to reach a conclusion on the journey of childhood has taken us and if things have improved for children. For example; in the late 18th to early 19th Century children were working: down mines becoming distorted in their body structure from the small shaft they spent most of their time in preventing natural growth and development causing severe problems; as a chimney sweeps boy being pushed up chimney’s causing damage to lungs and airways as well as their blood supply; workhouses, factories, private homes working long hours with little food and little or no education.
My earlier post ‘The cry of the children’ by Elizabeth Barrett Browning is a sad poem reflecting on the sorrows of childhood at the hands of adults – who should nurture and care for them. However, it seems a long way off from the treatment of children including care, love, nurture, education, support, opportunities.
I am deeply saddened looking back over history at how cruelly children were often so badly treated at the hands of adults on land and sea. Recently, archaeologists found remains of tiny infants only a day or so old in large pits from Roman times as a means of birth control; a society people thought to be civilised.It is so sad that these tiny human beings had nothing more than a few hours to live then dying of starvation and neglect possibly even being buried alive entombed together.
It is a struggle to find good examples of child-rearing any writing is minimal; possibly because bad child-rearing makes more to read and base history on or good parents did not write and boast of their parenting and skills in bringing up their children. There are oil paintings which depict children either by inclusion or exclusion depending on the era in Victorian times it was fitting to have a painting of the family however before this it was far less seen as the norm. It is also possible to read into the parent-child relationship as some distance is from parent to child and little love is depicted by one to the other – this may be reading into it too much or the painter being unable to add the emotion shown. However pre this era minimal art depicts children? Why is that – could it be that painters were unfamiliar with drawing the child or considered unimportant for a father or mother’s posterity.
Although the general treatment of children appeared to be one of dominance; using the children to aid and minimise parental workloads there were unusual writers such as Plato and St Augustine who gave a different slant on childhood:
‘Give me other mother’s and I will give you another world’ St Augustine 15th Century A.D
‘Childhood is the key to understanding’ Plato
What do they mean? Why does St Augustine say give me other mothers – with a different choice of mothers the world would be changed and the people in it different with different upbringing comes different values and outlook on life so opposites can occur instead of anger p- eace; hate-love; timid-bold etc. Then, the world itself, would be different; if those children followed on from and kept to their mother’s teaching.
However, historical writing leaves too many gaps in the lives and events in children’s lives. How can all of the children remain so silent – surely they existed otherwise the world, societies, nations, kingdoms, countries would cease to exist – so why is so little to be found? I assume from the silence that it is just simply the lives of children were deemed unimportant as a result then there was nothing to write of these small human beings.
How and why is child rearing taught? Guidance is passed on from generation to generation:
Child rearing is dependent on cultural traits
Cultural traits are dependent on child rearing
Both child rearing and cultural traits need to go together or both will be lost in transit losing valuable knowledge – the result being the foundations of the adult personality who is the adult child being laid and any effect on this has unimaginable consequences to the child becoming a man or woman affecting their personality, character, relationships, employment, emotions, friendships…
It is the way a child has been brought up which will decide the person they are to become as an adult; if a child has been up in an environment where there is no fun, comedy, laughter or joking they will become a serious adult with no time for leisure activities affecting developing of friendships, social activities and even employment as they may introverted and avoid social situations. The reverse is also true if they have been brought up with plenty of fun, comedy, laughter, lack os seriousness for life then they will grow up seeing life as one big party and not taking on the seriousness required in certain situations like funerals or in the workplace which also can affect relationships in the opposite way where people tire of ‘Johnny’ who always plays around regardless of the consequences – which also may affect their employment , relationships and friendships in the future. This is bordering on the psychology of who we are and how we behave of which I am inept in this field; although interested in this area I am merely an observer. It is therefore necessary to have a good balance of seriousness when required in employment and in certain situations and fun when appropriate to do so but considering others and not taking the limelight!
How has child rearing changed over the years? To result in the types of child rearing we have today and the relationships between parent and child. Why does child rearing occur at different rates in different cultures and/or families?
Sadly, it appears that although historians have studied social studies involving children they inappropriately condone and excuse the parents abusive behaviour to the child either saying the children ‘must have deserved to be whipped, beaten, starved, mal-nourished, disciplined’. I find this appauling and disgusting that babies and children were treated in this way and for modern 20th Century historians to have approved is concerning and worrying; it poses the question – do they feel the same way about Hitler? I sincerely hope that in the 21st Century we have moved on from this attitude. It would appear to me that human nature and the brain, (careful treading on psychology’s toes a bit) have a way of causing people to become immune to crimes committed by human to humans; the more research the more immune or numbed they become to the fragile human life – especialy that of children.
In history, it appears that negative treatment to children is recorded and positive treatment is not recorded by loving parents to their children.
L’Enfant et la vie familiale sous l’Ancien Régime (published in English in 1962 as Centuries of Childhood), PHILIPPE ARIÈS the history of childhood. The childhoodsthat Ariès sketched in Europe’s Middle Ages and early modern period were not happy. Childhood was a social construction that developed between around 1500 and 1800. According to Ariès, the major differences between contemporarychildhood and childhood in earlier periods are a lack of preparation of children for adulthood; education; making an emotional investment in them; affection, time, attention –and no separate activities given to children in the Middle Ages and early modern period. From birth to age seven, children were considered miniature adults: they dressed like adults and they were not sheltered from the adult world. By the age of seven, children were physically capable of helping their parents care for farm animals and work in the fields; cognitively, children had acquired the same vocabulary as their parents.
Thus three major reactions by the parent to the child are:
1. Projective reaction: the child is used as transport projection of the parents unconsciousness; which is intrusive form of emptying parents feelings onto the child end result is destructive to parents and child.
2. Reversal reaction: the child is used as a substitute adult figure important for the parents own childhood; thought of children as there to satisfy parents needs – if a child does not meet these needs then this is where abuse has occurred by the parent because the parents needs are not met – parent needs to feel loved the baby cries love is not met so abuse occurs; the end result is destructive to parent and child, more so the child, sickening just to write that.
3. Empathetic reaction: the child needs are satisfied, acted on and met through empathetic will; this is the adult identifying correctly from a distance, meeting the child’s needs without their own feelings being included.
The stages and reactions by parents differs in cultures, families, religions, countries, wealth, poverty, lines, traits, experiences as parents develop in caring and meeting their child’s needs so the capacity for a parent to move on occurs – however not all parents will some will continue in the same destructive route their parents took why? possibly unable to move on for psychological reasons where abuse and scarring has occurred or inability to consider themselves what to do to improve the lives of their children – having a ‘ well it never did me any harm’ attitude!
The sequence
- Infanticide – psychological affect on the children who survived must have been traumatic and then to go on and recieve abusive treatment in their young lives makes me wonder how they managed to survive and what the damage to them as adults was.
- Abandonment – to religious care, wet nurse, other families, homes, sexual abuse lessened while physical abuse increased.
- Ambivalent – now children were emotionally allowed to be part of their parents lives being moulded into shape with the use of physical discipline.
- Intrusive – a reversal of projection being reduced the inside of the child was considered the part needing to be conquered and considered precisely the brain, mind, emotions, will, wants, needs; as such infant death decreased, punishment was laid down in 18th Century A.D.
- Socialisation – less projections raise a child through and by training not conquering but guidnace in the right way teaching how conform to be a good member of society, increased amount of the father’s being involved with the upbringing of their children in childcare, training, meet needs, interests; increased socialising with others.
- Helping – a huge shift to ‘the child knows his needs at each stage more than the parents’ as a result the parents serve the child, empathise to meet specific precise needs laid down by the child; no discipline or habit forming are encouraged, apologies if disciplined in anger, all of parents time, energy, money, discussion is given to the child in order for the child to reach his or her full potential through daily activities to develop physically, emotionally, socially, intellectually having all their basic needs met. The result being a child who is calm, gentle, sincere, not depressed, strong-willed, unintimidated by authority, never group-orientated or imitiative.
I am reminded of Labour’s Children’s plan which is not so different to this except a child does not say what he or she wants; with the last part of the sequence. I agree too a degree with the last part of the sequence as I do not want my children to be sheep but strong people ready to face the world! H
English: This chart shows the evolution of six child-rearing psychogenic modes in the most advanced countries. It is based on the black and white chart that appears on page 246 of “The Emotional Life of Nations” by Lloyd deMause (2002). The chart also appeared in earlier works by Lloyd deMause. Evolution of the six psychogenic modes in the most advanced countries. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)